AUTHOR: suz
TITLE: 100 Things, Because Gina Dared Me
DATE: 8/11/2005 06:02:00 PM
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BODY:
100. I'm not telling you what my real name is.
99. Although I suspect it wouldn't be hard to figure out.
98. I'm a writer, a mom, a spouse, and a feminist
97. in no particular order.
96. Even though most days I feel like the writer and the feminist have gone into shock and are hiding underneath the desk sucking their thumbs and whimpering
95. And the spouse and mom just want to get some sleep, just ten minutes.
94. I'm trying to figure out how to re-integrate all the different parts of me into my day-to-day life.
93. I believe kids learn more by example than anything else
92. And I want to show mine how to live happily on your own terms
91. Even when no one else necessarily likes your terms.
90. I love breastfeeding my kid.
89. I thought I wouldn't.
88. I don't handle being needed very well.
87. At least, I didn't until I had a kid.
86. My dreams usually take place in my past or in alternate realities.
85. My kid became a part of them from the day I learned I was pregnant.
84. I live in a red house.
83. I graduated with my BA when I was 19.
82. The thrill of being a child genius wears off after a few years.
81. I was once laid off because of my personal politics. The first three people to get the ax were the three of us who had spoken at the lunch table against going to war after 9/11. [The conversation had begun with a colleague suggesting in all seriousness that the entire Middle East should be bombed.] None of us felt that our layoffs were a coincidence, as it was the only thing we had in common.
80. I didn't mind that time: being the first to go means you get a severance package.
79. Being the last to go means you show up for work one day and the building is empty and the doors are padlocked, and you never hear from the bosses again. I'd learned that the bad way.
78. I hated office environments.
77. I grew up in a violent and mean household.
76. I have no tolerance for violence or aggressive behavior.
75. I have no patience for meanness or stupidity.
74. I have a tendency to get what I want, usually when I have given up all hope of getting it.
73. It doesn't work if I only pretend to give up hope.
72. I really want to be good at gardening.
71. But it seems my sister got the green thumb and I didn't.
70. I used to ride horses.
69. I barrel-raced quarter horses from age 4-6. And I was good at it.
68. My parents got mad at my grandfather and made me stop riding.
67. I have missed it desperately ever since.
66. I was really good as a kid at pretending to be happy and okay when I was miserable and in need of help.
65. There are a lot of people who would have a hard time believing that.
64. I am still angry with some of them for not knowing better.
63. I have a friend that I've known for 23 years now.
62. I am almost 28 years old.
61. I've known most of my friends for 10+ years.
60. I don't make new friends easily.
59. My friend Nat says that's because there's just too much to explain.
58. I used to want to be an academic.
57. But I couldn't afford grad school applications and gre fees during my senior year of college.
56. So I decided to pay off some loans and go back to grad school later.
55. It's 8 years later.
54. I have no plans to go to grad school.
53. Sometimes that bothers me, but mostly not.
52. I was the first person in my family to go to college.
51. I was the first to get a degree.
50. My sister, who graduated a year early from high school, graduated from college 8 months pregnant
49. She graduated summa cum laude.
48. J and M and I look like a very conservative suburban family, I think.
47. Depending on the day, I find this hysterically funny and kind of depressing.
46. We don't fit the stereotype.
45. It weirds out my neighbors that we are vegetarians.
44. And that J does most of the cooking while I do the handy work.
43. If I were able to make enough to pay the bills he'd be a stay at home Dad.
42. But I can't even make enough to pay for daycare.
41. I love to read books about mountain climbing.
40. You could not get me up a mountain for any reason.
39. I won't even try skiing.
38. Most of my friends in college were photographers.
37. I couldn't afford to take the classes
36. But I ended up working in photography in NYC as a retoucher.
35. I have night terrors.
34. They often involve spiders.
33. I used to speak in tongues in my sleep.
32. Totally freaked out some roommates.
31. I prefer being an adult to being a kid
30. But I get along pretty well with most kids.
29. Many of my friends are scared of smal children. I've never understood why.
28. I am secretly a cantankerous old curmudgeon.
27. No, really, you'd be amazed.
26. I would like to learn how to draw.
25. And paint.
24. I used to play piano, flute, guitar and saxophone. And bass.
23. I really miss the piano.
22. I would be a hermit in the mountains if not for J and his weird need for civilization.
21. Last year I spent a week alone in my house and didn't even notice how much time passed.
20. Now that I have Maddie I have to leave the house every day or I start feeling cramped and skittery.
19. I was afraid that I would be a bad mother.
18. Or that I would hate it.
17. But actually I love what I am doing.
16. I am trying to figure out how all the pieces fit.
15. I think I'm managing it.
14. I think I'm figuring out how to have a little patience with myself.
13. I like change
12. when I can control it
11. Some blogs I read have recently moved, or shut down, or changed names.
10. I've been thinking about moving to a new blog.
9. My life was very different when I started this one.
8. I was going through a lot of major life changes.
7. And I think Going There has helped me get there.
6. I think I'll narrow the focus of the new one.
5. I haven't decided where to go, or how to do it.
4. Even though I've got a name and I'm working on artwork.
3. I'll take the blogroll with me.
2. And I'll post a link here.
1. Email me or leave a comment if you'd like me to let you know when I've got it up and running.
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